Next month I will celebrate my 62 ^nd year of being a Survivor. It began with my birth. Mother was sure (determined) that her second child would be a girl. As in most things in our family's life, Mother got her way. The unfortunate thing for her, however, was that after more than two days of terribly difficult labor, I turned out to not be the girl of her dreams. She has never forgiven me for that, and always reminded me that I had to pay for her pain and disappointment.

My first memories of surviving begin at a very early age, the most significant at the age of four. These memories are vivid and are not "recalled memories" - they have always been with me. I count myself fortunate that the Great Spirit chose to give me the capacity to remember it all - the words, the looks, all the things I was forced to do, eat and drink, the beatings and punishment tools. I also thank the Great Spirit I was able to break the cycle of abuse and raise four wonderful children of my own.

You might find it strange that I am so thankful that I do remember everything in vivid detail. The most common advice given to victims is to "forget it all, just put it all behind you." I went through many years, in my adult life, smoldering in great anger at this advice. "What right do you have," I'd say in my mind, "to insist that I erase the existence of my childhood experiences? Why should I not talk about my childhood like everyone else?"

Perhaps my perspective is skewed from the abuse but, in my mind, so many of those experiences are testimonies to the blessings the Great Spirit bestowed upon me when I was sent to live this life. I believe my experiences have given me insight and strengths I would not have had without them. If they allowed me to do so, I believe I could sit side-by-side with war veterans and exchange stories of conflicts we've survived. I know a Higher Power protected me from near or certain death on several occasions. I know I was blessed with these experiences and memories because that is the purpose for which I am here. It is my duty to tell my story from the inside out to help others comprehend the lives of the abused and politically ignored.

Many people don't realize that the surviving part of life does not end when the child is no longer in the control of the abuser. No matter how complete a person's survival is, surviving will always remain a part of their life. This is an important fact that all people who deal with child abuse issues should be aware of. Survivors need to be equipped with the knowledge they will need to continue surviving the attitudes of society throughout their lives.

Being known as a survivor of natural disasters, wars, accidents and such, usually gains the survivor respect. Being known as the survivor of domestic abuse is to be labeled a "victim" and to be looked upon with suspicion. Suspicion that you are a weak person, and motivation for all actions are automatically perceived as having been driven by mental imbalance brought on by the abuse. Suspicion that you somehow caused your parent to dislike you, therefore you must have been a terrible child. Suspicion that your childhood experiences somehow warped your perceptions, making you unable to be accountable for major work projects. Suspicion that the childhood injuries that sent you to a doctor for help are in your imagination, or not in the doctor's line of expertise. "How were you injured?" doctors have said to me, after more than 40 years of surviving, "Child abuse!? I don't treat child abuse. You need a psychiatrist!"

Surviving does not always come about through the capacities given us at conception. Surviving is a tool that can be taught. Surviving is an art that requires knowledge of social science skills and awareness of the nuances of human nature. Survival needs to be taught in schools. They should teach the issues that require a survivor to go on being a survivor to all professions -- education, law (legal and enforcement), medical, psychiatric, spiritual, social, corporate. The factors that require us to be Survivors needs to be constantly waved in the faces of our politicians until they "get it" and write laws that are enforceable for the protection of our nation's children and partners. Survivors need all the help they can get. You can help by signing the online petition by the Internet Force Against Child Abuse , written by Kris Campbell. We must all work together to cure the political environment that protects abusers and attempts to silence the abused.